Hard times

I don't mean to whine...well, maybe just a little. Today is a hard day. Dan had surgery today for the kidney stone and I couldn't be there. I'm grateful for Dan's mom keeping me informed, but still, I'm not there. He just called me and is in a lot of pain, and I'm not there.

Yesterday was "Pastor Appreciation Day" at church, and along with the other pastors, they presented me a beautiful lei and a gift certificate for Dan, but Dan couldn't be here. Encouraging words were shared along with many warm hugs, yet Dan wasn't here.

Today is a hard day. It's been just about 4 months of living in 2 different states, and I am not a happy camper. In Star Trek lingo, it feels like I'm trying to beam from the Enterprise to a planet, yet I'm caught in the transporter, so I'm not on the ship and not on the planet, but sort of in limbo somewhere. It's a tug-of-war in my soul. I am walking through life, putting one foot in front of the other, taking care of each day's needs, but my heart and soul aren't in any of it.

And yet, God is sustaining me, empowering me to get up every morning and serve Him where He leads. I think of the song "Your Love is Extravagent" by Casting Crowns:

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship, it is intimate
I feel like moving to the rhythm of Your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place
Your love is extravagant
Spread wide in the arms of Christ is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known You considered me a friend
Capture my heart again

I pray that Christ will keep my heart captured during this dismal waiting period.

In His Arms,
Debbie